The main temptations of the devil against me was that Jesus was not equal with God, but was just a man. I really struggled to accept His full divinity and humanity in one being, but I never gave up meditating on Jesus’ passion and I was rewarded.

One day, I was so enamored by the greatest love of Christ that I have ever felt in my life that something surreal happened. I first noticed that the pain in my knees disappeared. When I would meditate on my crucifix, I would kneel for hours in total focus so I’m sure you can imagine how painful it gets after a while. It felt like my legs were as light as feathers and that pain ceased to exist. I then noticed that I stopped noticing my surroundings. It felt as if I was really drowsy and that I was about to sleep. I had no cares for the world. My eyes were closed and I couldn’t hear, see or feel anything. I then noticed that my thoughts completely disappeared and there was perfect quiet. The amazing thing was that no matter how much I tried to move or push thoughts into my mind, they would not manifest. My only focus at the time was God and only God with nothing between us. I was suspended in time and space and I knew that God was with me. I realized that Jesus Christ is both God and Man and that He has given us the greatest gift through His passion. He was speaking to the depths of my soul and the deepest part of my heart. I felt great joy and happiness in this state and it felt like many years went by, but as I started to come back to reality I realized that only fifteen minutes had passed. If I can relate this experience to our limited knowledge, I would say that it’s what heaven feels like. An eternal state of perfect joy and satisfaction in God without any other cares. I was then inspired by God to read St. Teresa of Avila’s book “The Interior Castles” and to go to the fifth mansion and it was when I read about it that I understood what happened.

St. Teresa calls the experience I underwent the prayer of union. She says that it is a state of being where your faculties get suspended (including thoughts and reasoning) and all that you feel is God. When I read this, I was the happiest I have ever felt in a long time because I realized how close I was getting to God. Before February 2014 I last left off at the fourth mansion, so the fact that I had finally advanced to the fifth was a great joy. It made me a lot more resilient to the attacks of Satan and my love for Christ. I felt like my faith took flight and I was ascending to God. However, my entrance into the fifth mansion was just the beginning of my supernatural experiences, both joyful and terrible.

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