I always had an affinity to mysticism before I started to lose my faith in February 2014. I was curious what visions and locutions were like and I truly wanted to understand God so it was no accident that I came across St. John of The Cross and St. Teresa of Avila many times throughout my journey.

I was so happy the first time I saw myself ascending this massive mountain. Even though it looked extremely dark and scary, it felt like I was breathing the freshest air. During my ascent, I met many saints that I couldn’t recognize because they were shining like brilliant light. They were so excited to see me as if they haven’t seen someone in many years. I realized after many saints reacted this way to me, that no one else was ascending this mountain. I was entirely alone and I became extremely worried because it felt that no one was trying to get to God anymore. I felt that I had a time limit to get to Him and that God’s wrath was imminent.

After a week of having this vision, I noticed the path getting more narrow, dark and treacherous. I felt much more unease and danger looming over me and I found myself struggling to ascend, but I knew that I didn’t have much time to think or worry so I continued at a fast pace. It was then that a group of nasty flies started to swarm and attack me. I lost sight of where I was going and I eventually feel into a ditch helpless. These flies were the devils tempting me against my weakness in chastity. I cried to my sweet Jesus for help, but He never answered me. I felt like I was going to lose my grip on holiness until a friendly face appeared to me.

Comments powered by CComment